In (almost) 24 Years Of Life I've Learned...

-You can’t change other people, and it’s not polite to try. While people can influence you, they can't change you. You change you. They're only a catalyst.
-It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place. On that ame notion, NEVER EAT A WHOPPER WITH 7 PATTIES.
-If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do. Talking out your ass just makes you look like an idiot.
-You don't need fancy things for happiness. Dice and paper work just as well as video games.
-Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly. Don't waste tie beating around the bush.
-Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.
-Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.
-If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
-Yelling always makes things worse. You know that phrase "speak softly and carry a large stick"? There's some method to that.
-Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you. Other people's opinions really don't matter.
-Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it. Deal with it and quit blaming others.
-You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.
-If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.
-Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.
-Nobody has it all figured out. Those who claim to lie.
-Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
-Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.
-Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.
-Hell is a bus terminal in Kansas City, Missouri.
-People embellish everything, as a rule.
-Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.
-Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we do it like we're getting paid for it. That's a damn shame.
-When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see. Everybody has a tell.
-There's a silver lining in just about everything. It can always get worse.
-An end to a relationship does not mean your world stops spining.
-Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
-Credit card debt devours souls.
-Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.
-Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see. Try different angles.
-A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.
-The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people. This tops Facebook addictions. Both, by the way, need rehab groups.
-If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.
-The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language. Don't let it die.
-Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.
-Everyone you meet is better than you at something.
-Being pregnant is far more frightening then the thought of delivery. On a similar notion... giving birth feels like you're pooping. Nobody tells you that in the movies.
-Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own. After all, there are no facts. Only interpertations.
-Knowledge is belief, nothing more.
-Don't lie to women. Women are patient and have a nea-phoographic memory hen it comes to pain.
-Indulging your desires is not self-love.
-What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease. They live in the moment. They know genuine happiness. I learned a lot from my dogs.
-Self-examination is the only path out of misery.
-Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.
-Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible. But that won't stop anybody from getting it.
-Everything done for love goes beyond good and evil.
-Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes and facepalm. But the wisdom is still in there.
-Marijuana should be legal, but smoking pot is pointless.
-High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.
-The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic and watched the Discovery channel.
-If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.
-Not everybody is going to like you.
-Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.
-Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.
-“Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.
-Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.
-Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver. Chances are you're very bad at using a motor vehicle.
-The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.
-By default, people think far too much.
-If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.
-There is nothing worse than having no friends.
-To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence. Almost everyone has a valuable use.
-Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.
-A casual stroll through your local nut house shows that faith proves very little. But sometimes people need that little bit of faith because it's all they have. Don't shit on that.
-Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences. They're not dumb.
-Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.
-Casual swearing makes people sound dumb. And I'm alright with sounding dumb from time to time.
-Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life and one compliment can change the rotation of their world.
-It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.
-Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose. Be careful.
-The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts. Or mayo.
-It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first. I used to hate vegetables. Now I want a carrot.
-If you're constantly gay bashing, if you're marching down the street with a sign that says GOD HATES FAGS then you're more than likely so deep in the closet you're finding Chistmas gifts in Narnia.
-Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.
-North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.
-When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.
-A pinky swear is kind of like a legally binding contract. When it boils down, all you really have is your word.
-A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
-You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.
-Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family. It sucks, but it happens.
-Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
-There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.
-Firefly wasnt the best tv show ever made but it makes a damn good story.
-There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.
-Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.
-Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors.
-Some people are meant to stay in your life for a long time. Others are just passing by. Don't try to hold on to everyone.
-One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips or allow them to travel. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.
-Withou music life would be a terrible mistake.
-Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius. And no matter how you spin it the man had AWESOME HAIR!
-When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book. Better yet, write one.
-Date somebody who reads. Trust me.
-Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself. Don't wish. Do.
-The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
-Killing time should be a crime. It's priceless and you never get it back.
-If you've never listened to Gimmie Shelter by The Rolling Stones, Folsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash, Country Feedback by REM, or My Body is a Cage by The Arcade Fire then I heavily suggest doing so They give great insight on what it's like to be human. Same with Lives by Modest Mouse.
-The world is quietly asking everyone to get their shit together.
-Natural disasters happen. It comes with living in the region. If you hate snow then you probably shouldn't live in Buffalo.
-You need to put yourself first. This is not being selfish. But nobody will ever do it for you. Not unless you do it first.
-Arguing all the time? Unable to agree? Constant struggle in the relationship? Gettig married won't fix that. It just makes it more expensive to break up.
-Nothing quite wakes you up like hearing a large man scream "RELEASE THE KRACKEN!" to the tune of a wicked drum beat.